ripening bitterness
its that time of year when things are ripening rapidly. so what happens when things don’t move forward and ripen as nature intended? the answer: bitterness.
bitterness is a stuckness. you worked really hard and you didn’t get what you wanted. you compared your efforts to others and got bitter about the difference in results. you hold on to a past experience or trauma or a pathological story so tightly that is begins to poison you, make you bitter. most poisonous substances are bitter. in this case, being bitter is a sign of toxicity. when you feel bitter, this energy resonates through your whole bodymindspirit. it can leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. is bitterness resentment? anger? frustration? jealousy? a little bit of all that mixed with a lack of joy? a lack of fruition? or a lack of slowing down enough to enJOY the fruits of your labors? did you completely miss the precious moment? was it not what you thought it would be?
when fruits and veggies don’t ripen, they taste bitter. their sweetness has not yet developed either because not enough time has passed or not enough heat/effort has been made or there’s some flaw in the plan. the same can be said of childhood, when you aren’t allowed to do what you want, you might feel bitter toward your parents.
when we overcook our food, char and burn, it also tastes bitter. the overworking changes the end result. again childhood (the unripened human fruit) reminds us that sometimes trying too hard can lead to bitter disappointment. are you seeing a theme here?
enough time (but not too much), meaningful effort (aligned with the plan), a good plan (aligned with the vision), an embodied vision (aligned with your Heart’s desire) and the right reasons (not driven by jealousy, comparison, or your parents dreams but by YOUR inner stirrings).
bitterness requires us to reflect on if the whole idea in the first place was even FOR us? or what PART was for us? do we need to put in more effort? do we need to stop and reroute our efforts? it also asks us to slow down enough to first recognize the fruits of our labor so that they can be enjoyed. or transforming the negative and hurtful stories of our past into fodder for growth - finding the sweet fruits that ripened out of those experience. recognizing how your past has gotten you to exactly here. every previous moment like fertilizer moving us forward up and out of our own stuckness and pathological stories. because part of bitterness is about being stuck in the past. being stuck as an unripened fruit, not moving forward. putting your memories behind you (rather than in front of you) gives you a greater capacity to move forward. if you let your memories overcome your potential, your back will win out. your past will win out. you will stay bitter, stay unripened. we can’t change the past, but we can move forward to create new memories. memories that don’t leave you bitter. if you don’t like what you see in your memories, what you remember, then change your perspective so that what you see in the rear view mirror is different. changing the direction that you are pointed helps you see a different angle, and that might be all it takes for the bitter fruit to ripen.
bitterness feels like being stuck in a memory. stuck in an unripe fruit. stuck in adolescence. unable to move forward. unable to reach potential. unable to grow. it’s like time has paused on this memory. or on this comparison to someone else’s fortune. and we hold on to it tightly. thinking we are not the problem. this pressure creates heat in our heart and a bitter taste in our mouth.
we have to cleanse ourselves of this bitterness and clear our hearts of this heat by changing our perspective, shifting our efforts, adjusting our plans, and evaluating the end goals. empowering yourself to choose forward momentum. to choose ripening. to choose growth. to choose your own potential, not anyone else’s. remember to forget. so that there is room in your heart for the unexpected. for all the possibilities. it is only by moving forward that the heart can experience joy. because joy is not found in memory, it is found in the moment. the moment is ripe. it is where life happens. let the forgiveness in the back of your Heart propel your forward, into the moment, into joy, into ripeness and toward your own becoming.
Heart 9, located on the medial side of your pinky fingernail, is a perfect point to help treat bitterness and propel you into the moment. as the Wood point on the Heart meridian, it awakens the power of Wood to broaden the horizons, make a new plan and move forward. it connects the Heart with the Liver so that the Liver can hear the Heart’s desire and move in the right direction. in this way, it eases the frustration that can get lodged in our Heart’s about the unfairness of life, things not going our way, or inhibited progress (the inner-teenagers, amirite?). by keeping the Heart and Liver in communication, it also ensures that we don’t impulsively rush into situations that may not be FOR us, situations that may leave us bitter and frustrated down the road. In the age of social media, so many fancy shiny things are flashed before our eyes, our inner-teenager might think we need to buy this and do that to be happy, but this is not our heart’s desire, and it can easily lead to jealousy, comparison, and bitterness. this point can help balance this impulse (and its consequences) with a reminder to pause and check in with the guidance of the Heart and see which direction the compass is pointing.
you have the power to overcome feelings of bitterness, resentment, jealousy and frustration:
reflect on if your end goal is aligned with what YOU really value in life, is it worth it? or is it time to let go? check in with the “why”
check in with the action steps your taking, do you need to redirect your efforts? shift strategies? change directions?
take a moment and acknowledge all the tiny wins you have made along the way. harvest those fruits and enjoy them!
honor how your own hardships have shaped you and propelled you to where you are today.
get honest about what stories and beliefs about your experiences are poisoning you or clouding your perception. how can your past life be fertilizer for your future?
get some acupuncture to help move the immature and bitter into the ripe and sweet. sometimes talking it out and having an embodied experience is all it takes to shift bitterness into sweetness.
by amanda briody